Okay so two years two hurricanes… coincidence probably not but while the tri-state area caught the brunt of Irene’s eye last year it appears as if the Delaware gap is going take a pounding this year (no pun intended…plus any woman named Delaware is probably a prude) which means one of two things you’re either still scared as hell and stocking up on provisions or chilling out and stock piling on party provisions. I am pretty sure that there is going to be a hurricane Sandy party here in NYC regardless of whether or not it rains. Just in case you missed last year’s storm of the century here are a list of steps and provisions necessary to survive. SIDE NOTE! Also check out my tumblr feed in order to optimize your party playlist!
- Draft a contract for any potential girl/guy you could bring back to your survival “Bunker”
- Go to LegalZoom.com “The Contract”: assures whoever you have as your over night hurricane Sandy survival buddy understands that it is not a one night stand. You are in fact taking part in an effort to repopulate the Earth if man-kind is doomed due to this storm.
- Just remember to use protection until you are absolutely sure that at least America has been wiped off the map and even after you are absolutely sure take advantage of the scenario by doing all the things on your bucket list before you have a kid. Remember even after the apocalypse its always about putting your newly revised career plan first before getting serious and bringing kids into this world.
- Get certified as a Public Notary: Your contract won’t hold in court otherwise…
- Bloody Mary Mix, Tabasco & Vodka (any kind will do!). It’s got B6 & B12 and your body only absorbs about 10% of your one a day multi-vitamin. You have to level off after a night of survival drinking.
- 3 Cases of Beer: light beer will do but remember to go to your local Rite-Aid or Duane Reade as their prices by far are the least egregious to deal with in New York. Also mix in a few craft beers too.
- Dip duh Ranch, Sour Cream, Guac, and Salsa (Medium) and those cool bowl chips by Tostitos
- Panchos so you can drink and smoke on your stoop or venture off to your local pub.
- Some great tunage, friends to boast a poker set and a camera.
Have fun, be safe and enjoy Mother Nature and making fun of Bloomberg when he speaks Spanish! Happy Hurricane Party America!